Entry: Open Letter to Him Sunday, May 08, 2016



I feel very hurt and confused. I want to hate you, but a part of me can't. Because I do care about you. I don't want you feeling lonely and depressed. I want to make you happy, make you laugh and smile. I want us to have adventures and be best friends and tell each other everything. But now I wonder if it was even real at all. Maybe it was all one giant scheme to get into my pants. I just don't know what to think. I don't know why you're pulling away. I blocked you for a few hours. I wonder if you tried to contact me, but the sad truth is you probably didn't. I wish you would tell me what's wrong. Did you meet someone new? Are you scared? Embarrassed? Is it too much too soon? Just tell me. Whatever it is can't be all that bad. And whether or not you want to still be together or not, I just want you to be ok. Because I really, really want to believe that deep down you are truly a caring, loving, good man. I want the best for you.

I read some articles on the Internet and they said to be strong and not contact you. It's really hard for me. It feels like game playing and I don't want to do that. Last I checked, you're still my boyfriend and I don't wanna feel like I can't contact you. What's the point of being in a relationship then? But at the same time, I understand if you need your space. (But it would be so much easier if you could just tell me. After all, I'm not a mind reader...)

I broke down and told a friend about the situation. He said it seemed a bit odd and told me to try and make plans with you. I'm scared to be honest.

Maybe I'm overreacting. Maybe I'm crazy.

I just miss you. Where are you, stranger? What happened to the sweet, attentive man I was falling in love with? Who told me he loved me. Who tried to help me when he barely knew me and I was lost. Who made me feel special and safe.

Where are you?


   4 comments

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January 11, 2017   01:28 PM PST
 
Maybe it was all one giant scheme. I just don't know what to think.
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July 20, 2016   08:03 AM PDT
 
I am so sorry. It is really said situation. But I am sure that everything will be good. Best wishes for you!
Felippe
June 3, 2016   03:22 AM PDT
 
This was beautiful, but so sad :(
Deirdre
May 10, 2016   05:48 PM PDT
 
:(

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